If you were to announce to any given couple that they should think about couples therapy, chances are they’d be quite offended. This is precisely the kind of reaction that you would expect, given the way the topic of couples therapy is regarded with a good amount of stigma. Sadly, reality does not always tend to be a fairytale – especially in terms of relationships. It is one thing to accept that any relationship takes plenty of commitment and effort to get right, but even with the best intentions in the world there will always be some challenges, hurdles and roadblocks you need assistance in overcoming.
According to the experts in couples and alcohol counselling in Canterbury, a surprising portion of couples up and down the United Kingdom can benefit from couples therapy. The simple fact is that it’s never a good idea to wait until issues hit crisis point before seeking some relationship assistance. If you are looking to identify a specific type of behaviour or trigger points that show that professional help is necessary, here’s a short overview of seven clear signs that you’re indeed a good candidate for couples therapy.
- First up, if you have walked into a scenario where you and your partner are simply not talking anymore, this is perhaps the biggest red flag of impending issues. It may not seem like the number-one problem – at least you are not arguing – but the large majority of relationship problems professional therapists come across on a daily basis are caused by poor communication. Even if it doesn’t appear to be a big problem now, it might become later.
- That said, it is perhaps just as worrying if you and your loved one are indeed talking on a regular basis, but everything that is being said seems to be completely negative. What is important to remember in such cases is that negativity when it comes to communication can apply to both the things that are being said and the way they are being said. And if the fact is that conversation is almost all negative, this is again a strong indication that things are not right.
- Still on the topic of communication, inability to bring up and talk about important concerns and subjects is something else that needs to be watched for. One instance could be finding yourself too anxious to bring up topics like sex, money or family problems – all of which need to be topics of open conversation in any healthy relationship. In this case, the simple fact is that you can’t bring up and discuss what is important to you, it will likely fester inside you and eventually lead to more escalated problems.
- You might have come across the notion of withholding affection…usually sex…as something of a bargaining chip or a punishment. And you might have also reached the conclusion that it’s perfectly good way of dealing with things. Sadly, when one partner withholds sex or affection from the other for any given reason, this only shows an evident imbalance in the relationship. If both partners were receiving as much satisfaction from said love and affection, it would not be used as a bargaining chip.
- While it’s perfectly normal to have some little secrets here and there, it is entirely the opposite if you’re basically spending half of your time lying to your partner. It simply doesn’t matter if the lies are of any consequence. In fact, it could actually be considerably more worrying if the lies you’re telling your partner are of no real consequence. It is one thing to be a little apprehensive about the skeletons in your closet, but if you can’t even discuss the small things, you are treading thin ice.
- Regardless of what people may say, there is only one reason why anyone would pursue or even contemplate an affair. It is one thing to gaze fondly at attractive individuals and imagine a wacky variety of naughty daydreams – it is another thing entirely to genuinely think about making it happen.
- Last up, where and when the spark in a relationship has completely disintegrated, it could be natural to assume that this is all just part of the process. In fact however, while you can’t expect to have the same passion-filled nights you revelled in when you initially started dating, finding yourself in a situation with no physical affection is something that shouldn’t be ignored.